(This story is a work of pure imagination and crazy fiction)
Change is the only entity that doesn’t change. As the saying goes, change and evolution are integral to every other aspect of our life. Chimpanzees and guerrillas evolved into humans. Stone man evolved into the farmer. Farmer to trader, ruler, politician etc. As man evolved his needs kept changing. Exchange concept changed to production concept, then product concept, selling and now to marketing with niche areas such as B2B marketing etc. What if a new change arises and as a necessity to the man, a new trend niche evolves – the G2G marketing (Guerilla to Guerilla). Well, this is slightly different from the Guerilla marketing that we have today. In fact G2G can be told as a hybrid of B2B and Guerilla. Where a service markets itself to another service to serve an eventual end user very aggressively in the guerrilla style, except for the fact the primary client here are the guerrillas. Lets delve deep.
In order to tackle with the problem of human losses in warfare, armies of every country are thinking of out of the box solutions to find non-human soldiers nowadays. And with increasing terrorist threats and an implicit war that is on perpetually, the need for a reliable strong and non-human ally is essential to man now. The Americans are contemplating robots and are making headway. That is their nature to invent. What if a discovered solution is presented to the problem ? Indian army scientists have been doing this major operation undercover for so long and have come up with substantial evidence of late. Soon the use of guerrillas – literally guerrillas – as part of an army regiment will be approved by the Indian government.
A small peek into the classified research by the Indian army : Seven years ago, when a group of six elite scientists gathered in the military head quarters to find some out-of-the-box solutions to the issue, they chose to dig deep into the history. They were authorised to be crazy. History books did not provide the required amounts of craziness. So they dug deep into mythology and Bingo! They came up trumps with the perfect solution – the Ramayana – a master military strategy envisaged by Valmiki centuries ago to use monkeys as military troops. Whats more evidence shows that they had a great commander too – Hanuman !
They chose to proceed and evaluate the feasibilities. After much research, a feasibility report was submitted to the President. Rumour has it that the ex-President Dr.Kalaam himself was taken aback when he signed the feasibility report and gave them the green signal. The modern scientists are able to prove that our monkey cousins are possessing a higher degree of mental processing capabilities than most other animals and with repeated training and practice, can reach human levels too. Examples of chimpanzees speaking English and guerrillas playing football have made the headlines quite frequently in the world. Therefore training the guerrillas for military operations under command of humans is a certain possibility. Their superior physical powers and the tree-hide attack modes can provide them a competitive advantage over even human soldiers in some terrains.
How to induct the guerrillas into training first – seems a perfect HR problem ? Not exactly – there is a lot of marketing involved. Two target groups have to be convinced first! The animal rights activists and the guerrillas themselves! Who better to convince them than the current guerrilla warfare unit chiefs of the military ! Thus came the uniquely Indian G2G concept of military marketing . Convincing guerrillas will be done through negotiators handpicked from the forest tribes. The activists are to be convinced by pure human diplomatic procedures.
The following is the copy of the letter obtained after security clearance from the military sent to the activists.
Letter #1 :-
GUERILLA WARFARE REGIMENT – INDIAN ARMY
18th October 2009
To
The Chairman,
Blue Cross India.
Sir,
Sub. : Induction of guerrillas into the military regarding
The Indian Army proudly announced the findings of its top-secret G2G mission recently to the world media and you must be aware of the proposal. As a guardian of animal rights, it is our foremost duty to get clearance from your body before we recruit some soldiers. The scheme has impressed and got approval from Dr.Kalaam, a scientist himself.
The threat of militants is on the increase and the lives of military men are as equally important as the common men for us. Thus came the unique idea of guerrilla soldiers. You must have some idea about guerrilla warfare – a highly effective surprise attack military method. We learnt it from the guerrillas ! What if the teachers themselves come to write the exams for us ?
I assure you that we are not forcefully recruiting guerrillas for this. We are conducting negotiations through tribal leaders with the guerrilla leaders in the forests. We are expecting a positive response. Initial responses suggest we are making more progress than we ever made through human negotiations with our neighbour countries through our diplomatic means. Only after receiving the consent of the guerrillas will we proceed further. Every recruited soldier will do so with his full uninfluenced consent.
Besides we can set up a governing board and decide on the compensations and perks for these soldiers. We are open to include a member from the Blue Cross and a Genetic Scientist and a Wildlife expert in the panel. Training will be given through a carefully designed programme framed by wildlife experts and guerrilla warfare chiefs. Separate training facilities will be set up for the guerrillas in the jungles of Western Ghats. Perks include special diets and animal spas in the camp. After a training stint of two years, an assessment will be done to select the soldiers.
Their job description will be xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx (classified information) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
The animals will be treated with utmost dignity and care by us. Besides based on the initial outcomes from the tribal negotiations, we are able to decipher that the guerrillas are considering themselves to be possessing superior knowledge than fellow animals and looking forward for a competitive challenge to justify their potentials. As science advocates strongly, the mental abilities of a guerrilla are greater than a normal animal and they have the ability to decide based on reason too.
I sincerely hope you understand the ethics behind the issue and the benefits of its implementation. Feel free to contact me for any further negotiations.
Regards,
XXX
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What happened next ? Well , you saw the date on the letterhead , didn’t you ?
So dear Homo sapiens ... what do you think about a guerrilla figting to protect you?
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