Shriram Parthasarathy, JBIMS

Playing at the WoodMock

Spearing Morello riff, and the drummer loses his stick with his ears set on fire, thanks to the extended hand of Mr. Burns, and the rest stay close to a moment to witness the midnight sun. Welcome to the Rail House of Cushion-Park, where every one is a musician, and the most famous band called “The BlackJack Murphies” are getting their act together to win the most coveted prize in the history of music, that’s playing at the WoodMock festival.

Led by Timmy the tea toddler, the band has Homer, the horrific on the base and the backup vocals, Cartman, the anorexic gem on the lead guitar and Lisa, the levelheaded on the drums. The practice would take place every day, and here we are on the penultimate day of rehearsals before the ultimate showdown. If the band’s history is to be narrated, then it will take the airtime of a full symsons television series. Timmy had a problem with catching the verses with the encircling words stringing it together, that is when singing them. It would so happen, that he would remember and push through his diaphragms struck by constipation of the highest degree experienced by the folks in Timmy’s homeland, the soul title of the songs sung by the band, which happen to be products as the result of portraying a feeling of over-inspiration. Here they were, practicing on of the originals titled “Holy Cash Cow”. The back-up vocalist Homer, would take the forefront of the stage act of the band, and would indulge himself into a verbal war with Timmy, which to the audience would sound like a proper symphony.

The WoodMock festival is a distant cousin of the real thing, the Woodstock. This is meant for the up-coming bands from the lands unknown and unheard to at least 1/3 of the total world’s population. The fest is attended by the cereal convicts of the highest degree, spirits of the famous butlers from the English-rich novels and a whole lot of gamblers who could never make it to Vegas, as their perception of money is not accepted by the real world. The day finally arrives, and The BlackJack Murphies take the stage. In the audience, there is a man called Patrick Cash who happens to be the man behind 42 murders including the assassination of JFK’s pet goldfish and Castro’s old reindeer. He was accompanied by his Italian pet cow named “Ciao”, but pronounced “Cow” thanks to Pat being a native of one of the far stretched pastures owned by the Yanks. The band begins to play their original, “Holy Cash Cow” and the Cash Cow duo stand fuming in the front row, thanks to them being a part of the brigade of soldiers of the evil forces which has continuously fought against the defenders of faith in God, right from the times of Jesus Christ. They take the stage and nock down the band members one by one, leaving Timmy for the end. Cow makes use of his lazy horns to knockdown Timmy by spearing through his diaphragm. No one from the audience could break an inch, as the spectacle like this was never witnessed in the history of the WoodMock Festival before. The fest comes to a standstill, and the handcarts are called for to take the band members to the place they call hospital. The whole media gathers around the band in their run up to the hospital and tries to get some words out of the band members. It was pointless to wait for Timmy to regain consciousness, as there is only one line that escapes his cavity. 3 days passed and Homer woke up to a Sunday morning, where he was met by a print reporter waiting to capture some words from him about the concert and the mayhem that took place. Homer had only one thing to say “Don’t let the dogs out, if you get what I mean”.