Sundernarayan, MICA

“Maldhenu Bhabhi” – A Value Construct

An hour glass she was, draped in a translucent chiffon sari, her curves accentuated by the shimmery cascade of softness. She lay on the couch, her form a languid, tantalising oasis waiting to quench the thirst of weary travellers. Her eyes were the colour of a witch’s oils, sparkling, fiery and passionate one moment; cajoling, demure and melting the next. As she gazed on with an innocent impish smile, her delicious lips delicately parted to reveal a beautiful strawberry mouth, nobody could have guessed the years of expertise hidden behind those eyes. Maldhenu Bhabhi, she was fondly called; loved and admired by capable men of all ages (TG – All SECs, age 18+, promiscuous, potent and adventurous male) , revered as the contemporary ambassador of the world’s oldest profession. She had an illustrious family lineage, Saveetha Bhabhi being one of the most prominent amongst them. As Bruce Wayne is told in Batman Begins, “It is not who you are underneath, but what you do that defines you”. It was a dialogue originally scripted with Maldhenu Bhabhi in mind.

An astute marketer, she was an expert in below the line promotional activities. Above the line was very impersonal and Maldhenu Bhabhi believed in maintaining very intimate relationships with her customers and hence always preferred below the line. She was an expert in delivering customer value and her value proposition far exceeded that of her competitors. The value proposition included superior product benefits and she created an irresistible urge for repeat visits. Her core competency was her ability to put the customer on the spot, involve him in the process and make him experience the benefits of the product. It was a business model fully dependent on co-creation and the amount of satisfaction the customer derived fully depended on the input he put in. She targeted the topmost level of Maslow’s hierarchy – self actualisation. More often than not most of her customers reached their break-even point and this was the point from where she sketched her business. Experience ensured that she swiftly reached breakeven in each of her transactions and this was why her stakeholders invested heavily in her. It was an investment for sure, an exercise in relationship management.

The mouth figured very prominently in her profession! It was by word of mouth that she increased her reach, to unpenetrated markets and with such ease; the mouth (word of mouth) was the only tool that could take her closest to her customers. Apart from word of mouth she also believed in guerrilla marketing in the true sense. Parks, railway stations, subways, lodges; her agents could spring up everywhere.

Maldhenu Bhabhi was not just a value construct; she was the manifestation of all the values any man craves for. She was not just a grid in a two cross two matrix, she was equivalent to a power grid ready to electrify anything that dared to cross her way. She was not just a consumer durable, she was more durable than most of her consumers. Rightfully so, she was called “Maal-dhenu“, the cash cow!

***A “Kinky Kotler” publication***